A little less than two months ago I had a beautiful baby girl, she came out healthy and happy and all went very well with her delivery. After all the excitement was over and my doctor had left the room my nurse noticed I was bleeding too much. I had hemorrhaged! I got sick to my stomach and felt like I was going to pass out. As they worked to get the bleeding stopped, I lay there a little scared but knew I was in good hands. I trusted they would get it under control. I couldn’t hold my baby and family was waiting outside the room that weren’t allowed in yet. This somehow bothered me more then the bleeding problem! I just stayed calm and hoped I didn’t pass out.

Now looking back months before, starting when I first found out I was pregnant I was looking forward to having a home birth with a midwife. I had a not so great hospital experience with my last baby and the home birth really appealed to me. I wanted to have a birthing pool set up in my living room, and I had even decided to use a certain midwife. I met with her and she seemed experience and educated. There was just one thing that kept bothering me, I was half an hour away from the nearest hospital. If something was to go wrong with my baby and we couldn’t make it to the hospital in time I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. So ultimately I backed out and found a family doctor I really liked!

At the hospital my bleeding was stopped fairly quickly, I had a shot of Pitocin, some other type  of shot to try to help it, that didn’t really get it under control. So they hooked up a bag of Pitocin to my iv and kept pressing on my belly  making me feeling like punching someone (it hurts soooo bad). The bleeding slowed down to normal level and I was able to hold my baby again. family was able to step in and visit and all was well again. I had to take iron and my hemoglobin count was pretty low for awhile, but I didn’t really get dizzy or have many problems. I think it made me a little extra exhausted but I would have been exhausted and resting as much as possible after giving birth anyways.

Since I had an emergency situation after giving birth and it all happened rather quickly, I am glad I was at the hospital. Im not sure that my midwife couldn’t have stopped the bleeding. I don’t think the particular one I picked would have had Pitocin. I didn’t even know that it should be something to be concerned about. Now though I know that it took a lot of Pitocin to stop my bleeding, to get my uterus to contract like it was supposed to. I fear that if I was at home and this was to happen it would have been much more stressful. I probably would have passed out. I might have needed a blood transfusion. It could have been worse than that. Im still not against home births, but I now know that not all midwifes are equal and especially if you aren’t close to a hospital its important to know what your midwife can’t and can do in your home. What is baby isn’t breathing well or not at all?  Which I did ask my the midwife I had planned to use. Will she have Pitocin to stop a bleeding if needed? I didn’t know to ask that question but am pretty certain she wouldn’t have, now I know. After a little research the only thing I can come up with that might have caused my hemorrhage was a fast delivery. And well don’t think that would have been different at home. I was ready to push and couldn’t stop!

All in all I’m glad I went with my gut instinct. Im glad I was at the hospital already when something went wrong. Always follow your intuition!!!

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One thought on “Why Im glad I DIDN’T have a home birth

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